spring day

For Christ has been raised from the dead, he has won victory over death. Through his blood, we are forgiven. Let us give thanks to the Lord. I will give thanks to the Lord, because your presence brightens my day.

I take this time to think about you. I know that you were with me the whole time. But as I try to remember my day, I did not find much interesting things. It was one of those routine days, but here is what I remember.

I woke up today early to study for the business test. I spent about two and half hours for the test. I had to take few breaks, because I was not only losing concentration but also suffering from boils on my butt. Boil swells easily on my butt especially if I spend long time on chair. I felt like I need to buy a really good chair seat.

I could not understand most of the things professor Westra lectured. He gave a lecture about monetary policy, and he said states have to find stability in their monetary system and take various strategies to avoid inflation and deflation. I remember terms... exchange rates, fiscal policy, printing money, China and India, IMF, WTO.... how am I going to write papers for the class? It stresses me. I could not speak up for the questions that Westra inquired though I had chances. I did not grab them. It lead me to a boring class. I need to have some fun otherwise, I will be just letting all things discussed in class into ash. Will I end up being like this all the time? I miss the days when I used to study overnight to prepare for the class, but it was like a hell where I took whole day until the dawn to read. A little exaggeration, but there is some truth hahaha :)

I answered few questions during his next political science class. It did pumped me up and increased my concentration during the class. We had a good discussion today, a least I was able to participate. I gave some ideas to answer in regard of liberalization. Westra connected it into other main points. I was thankful to him.

I went straight to read newspapers. There was no updates from Korean newspaper and Wall Street Jounrnal, so I took NewYork Times instead. It was boring, because I found it so hard to read. I guess there must be lots of writers I do not understand. I wonder what this mean.

I went out to get some snacks and found that they were really cheap. A burger and fries cost almost 9 dollars, and those snacks (+ 2 waters 2 coffees) were worth 7 dollars. I realized that I was spending too much money on eating fast foods. I can imagine my mother nagging at me about wasting money like this where I could have been more efficient. Now I can understand her feeling even more. I miss her.

Today's weather was warm. Though I did not find comfort, many Calvin students were out to enjoy the weather. I tend to be more pressured to work during good days (good weather days), because I wish to prepare for next season although I should let myself to enjoy the weather wholeheartedly sometimes. I guess comforting means spending time with one whom I love to me. I did not find it coming recent times, because I am still dependent but growing steadily.

I took a long nap afterward..... hahahaha.... I wholeheartedly enjoyed the weather. I left things to do afterward and slept. I wonder if I lived a day in practice of Lord's presence. I kept in mind of Psalm 61:2-4 whole day. I wish to dwell in your house Lord hehe... I met Koreans in campus today, and it got me to think about my hatred toward them. This hatred is huge. But I am not sure why I hate them so much. I know that I hate evil. Maybe I am frustrated about their childishness. ha.... I think people who did not learn to give respect to others are just immature and not ethical. I hope they realize how much arrogant they are. They need to stop gossiping about others and spend time inner selves. People who lack self reflection doesn't know what kind of monsters they had become due do their failure to grow as human. I wish to say this straight to their face, but I know that I struggle ethically in different areas. I leave up to God eventually. Patience is necessary for me. Silence until my Lord uses me for his kingdom.